Expanding my practice

Through the 14 years I have been a witch my least favorite thing has been doing formal rituals. I often find that having to memorize and go through 'the motions" of creating a circle to feel more like acting, than religion. In college I was in theater, and many rituals seem to read like a play, say this, walk right, point there, etc. Not particularly inspiring. I realize that in a group this sort of thing is necessary to prevent chaos and confusion, but I'm a solitary and it just wasn't working for me.

But I want to do rituals, so I have had to alter how it is done. For example I like to dance my circle into creation. Except for music, it is silent. I do call the quarters, just without words. This I like, this feels spiritual for me. I speak later on, saying the Charge of the Goddess (which I do want to memorize) prayers, songs, chants, then I release the circle as I opened it, but going the other way around. It is a more spontaneous ritual, more creative in the moment, I only do basic planning beforehand.

So having found a method of ritual that feels spiritual, I want to do more. I want to become adept at the practice of ritual and get past the resistance I have had for them. I was thinking maybe one a week, but it will probably be more like once or twice a month, which, trust me, is way more than the once or twice a year I was doing. I did my first ritual Friday a week ago; a gratitude ritual after my father's surgery to remove his foot. We were worried he might not make it (he's had bunch of surgeries for an infection he had, is diabetic and on dialysis; the surgeries began in January, we're hoping this is it).

I bought a book yesterday, and it is on creating rituals. It is called Women's Rites, Women's Mysteries by Ruth Barrett.



I am eager to read it and see if I can put it to use. I wanted to get The Earth Path by Starhawk too, but I have got to be careful with what I spend, so maybe next time.

Blessings,
Agate

Practicing what we preach

Did you know that Green Egg magazine has been reborn online? Their first issue has a beautiful 'cover' of a pheonix rising from the ashes. In it is one article in particular that I'd like to talk about here.

Michael R. Gorman, a druid out of Sacramento, wrote a piece called Our Pagan Elders. In it he criticizes the pagan 'community' and how we make no effort, do no work that requires any more time than it takes to type into our keyboards (my reduction of his topic). He's right. We do not really have a community. No place for people in need to go to, nowhere for people to get together that is our own, no way to really support each other. We throw a few good thoughts, a little postive energy, in someone's direction when they need help, when what they really need is a hand to hold or a place to stay, maybe even a little cash. We expect the leaders of our groups to do all the work without compensation (and yes, I mean cash, you ever try to live in this world for free, but Goddess forbid any one dare ask a little renumeration for their time). We search everywhere for the work of someone else that we can benefit from so we can crawl back into our closets and go back to our nice, safe lives.

I once tried to create a pagan newsletter. After a local church began an effort to shut down a pagan store, I thought I'd try and bring our local pagans together. I did manage to find a partner, but when I asked for submissions from the public I recieved one letter and a picture in almost a year of publishing. By the way, this was a free publication, I covered the cost and asked for no money, only participation. Nothing. No one cared enough. Oh sure, they were happy to pick up the newsletter, but no one wanted to participate. Apathy runs rampant in the pagan community. How sad is that?

I would love to create a community center, not here in Yuba City, I don't actually like this town, but wherever I eventually end up, I'd love to create a place where people from any tradition could come, teach lessons, share art, and meet each other in the flesh rather than over a computer. But would I find anyone who wanted to help? Would anyone volunteer to do things there? Or would they be too busy pretending they are as mundane as their Christian neighbors?

I read so many self-righteous comments online from pagans as they proclaim their superiority over that other religion, yet how are we better? We don't support our leaders, we don't educate our children (I've met pagans who raise their children as Christians), we don't support those who are needy among us (either with personal or monetary support), we don't do anything that requires any real effort beyond sitting on our butts in front of a computer screen.

Are you going to argue it? "But I did this-once." I know, I don't think I have done enough, but if no one else is willing to try, how much can one person accomplish? Not a great deal. A community is not created by one person, that would be a cult. You need many people, working together towards a common goal, to have a community. The computer may have connected us across land mass and oceans, but that is all it has done.

Blessings,
Agate