Harvest festival

So Mabon was the time for the annual Pagan Pride Event in fair Oaks, Ca. Once again held at the VFW, it had ssome new stuff and returning favorites as well.

I thought I was going to Harvest Festival alone this year, but a friend and her friend joined me for part of the day. This one was a bit more lively than the last one I went to and I enjoyed myself.


This is camera-shy Camille.



And this is Camille's friend, Marissa, doing a little "sword" fighting.

There was a role playing battle group there teaching, demonstrating, and inviting others to join them in their weekly games.



They go into battle with each other using foam covered sticks. There are rules for not hurting each other and how you "die" in the game. Everyone seemed to be having fun, especially the little girls. It seemed the smaller the female, the fiercer and more determined the warrior. You had to keep an eye on those bloodthirsty little girls.


A ritual was held while I was there, but I was too far away to see everything they did. The moon and stars fire-pit was their's.


This little girl was dancing later on to a drumming group.



But my favorite part was, as always, the fire dancers. I often go just so I can see them perform. The hula-hoop on fire was new.

Mother Nature through the lens

I just felt like putting up pictures today. Goddess Bless.

Goodbye Grandma

On October 1 my grandmother, Alma, died. I took care of her the past few years and I find it strange for her to be gone. Even though I had to go to the nursing home to visit her since we had to move her there in January, I can still feel the hole in my life her passing has left.



I did however, deal with her death better than my father's. She was 91 years old and I did as much as I could to make her last years good ones. I wish I could have extended her independence more though. I think, in many ways, the loss of her independence aided her decline, but she also had alzheimers and there was no way around it. When we realized she would wander away from her apartment, we moved her into my mother's house, but with the tall steps into both front and back doors, Grandma couldn't go out on her own. She couldn't see well enough to do the dishes. She felt very useless, I think.



And then there were her seizures. We never did find out what exactly caused them, but they were getting worse and she wasn't recovering quickly. The last one she had at the house was so bad I was faced with the fact we could no longer care for her. So we had to put her in a home. It was a nice place, not the horrible kinds where there is neglect and abuse, Live Oak Manor had kind and loving CNAs who took care of her, encouraged her to walk when she didn't want to, put up with her ornery behavior, and cared about her when we weren't there. But at the same time, she lost even more of her own decision making rights and I watched her decline in spirit.

She had another seizure a few weeks before she died, and at first she was responsive, would eat and talk a little though she didn't open her eyes. But eventually, she stopped eating. We had made the decision, based upon an the Power of Attorney, my dad had for when he cared for her, not to have feeding tubes or extend her life beyond what is natural. We saw her a few hours before she died.

My Grandma was raised by a strong mother who worked hard to support not only her many children but their deadbeat father as well. She loved to travel (I wish I could have taken her to New York, it was one place she wanted to see, but never got to) loved fishing, her house in the mountains, sewing her clothes (she made my eighth grade graduation dress) her flower garden and the deer that ate her rasberries. She liked cowboy movies, Walker, Texas Ranger on TV, and Louis L'Amour books. I was "her girl". I miss her so much.



To cut funeral costs we did a lot of things ourselves, including designing her folders (those little handouts you get at funerals) with two pictures of her on the outside, instead of the generic choices we had at the funeral parlor. She was cremated and placed into a box my sister had covered with brocade fabric. We even put together our own sign in book for the funeral out of a pretty scrapbook, papers, some stamps with copper ink, and as many My Mom and sister were apprehensive at first about this DIY form of funeral, but in the end it was something we were not only proud of, but Grandma would have appreciated as well.



I honored her on Samhain and I remember her here where anyone can see it.



Happy Journeys Grandma. I love you and miss you. "Your Girl" Mindy.

Picture details:
*Grandma's 91st birthday. I crocheted her that cupcake, she loved sweets a lot.
*Grandma and mt Grandfather, Mervin, who died about ten years ago. They are buried together in Colusa now.
*This was the last picture I took of her. We were watching TV in the day room and she was sipping the milkshake I'd brought her. We had a good time that day. Here, she had fallen asleep. I wish I had gotten one of her awake.
*Grandma hunted, but I don't think she liked it as much as fishing, she did it because Grandpa liked it.
*This is a picture of the things we made for her funeral, set up at the building where her wake was held. On the left you can see one of the folders on top of the sign in sheet that I later put into her book. The little wooden box is a memory box I put together of all the things she like (flowers, bingo, cowboys, etc).
*This picture was taken the day my parents got married, it is on the back cover of the folders.

Look To The Sky

Sometimes in a busy day of work, Goddess sneaks up on you and leaves you breathless. And even a parking lot basks in beauty.

Photographic Lessons

I am feeling somewhat random about this post. There isn't a whole lot that is spiritual happening in my life, but i am trying. This pretty picture of red leaves is a tree living outside the store I work at. One morning while waiting for my associate to arrive I noticed the sun making the leaves light up and took some pictures. The sun in this one was accidental, but made the picture. I don't like my job, but still there is beauty to be found if I am willing to pause and observe.


These gladiolas live in my mother's front yard. Every year they are a red orange, this year they are orange. I've noticed that flowers seem to do that. My mom's hiacynth has pink heads of flowers and purple heads of flowers on one bush.


I've always loved the way clouds look, so I snapped this one. Again while at work.


I do try to do regular religious stuff, particularly morning and night prayers. I keep the altar in a box and set it up. The doily is one I crocheted for Imbolc, it looks very nice on my altar. I have to remember to put it away when I am done, especially since I caught my cat trying to gnaw on Kwan Yin's head the other day. That can't be good.


This spider, whose picture I could only get with the flash (too blurry otherwise) keeps building epic webs ceiling to bush on the front porch. My mom knocks them down, and soon enough there is another. And that spider sits front and center, unafraid and determined to go on the way it thinks things should be. That's resilience, my friends.

Blessed be.

Solstice Pictures

Here are the pictures I promised yesterday. This is the sunrise I witnessed from Caspar Beach. Okay, technically the sun had been up a little while before it cleared the hills and trees, but this is when I saw it.

My labyrinth in the sand. It was washed away before I left, but I got two walks out of it.



I decided to a little more drawing in the sand as I relaxed.



Later I returned to the beach to watch the sun set on the solstice. It was lovely to see.



Oh, and this house has little to do with the Solstice, but I have wanted to live in a dome house for a long time and I also thought one would make a cool pagan spirituality center. You can see this one from Mendocino.



There are the highlights of my trip. I am sad to be leaving today, and am already making plans for a return.

Blessings all,
Agate

Solstice Celebration

I spent the morning on Caspar beach. I was there before six am and though the sky was light, the sun had yet to peek over the mountains. When it did, I confess I greeted it with the camera lens rather than a prayer, but I had other plans.

I parked myself at the farthest end of the beach and drew a labyrinth in the sand big enough to walk through. I set up a small altar and said a prayer from "Creating Circles and Ceremonies" by Oberon and Morning Glory Zell. At the labyrinth entrance I faced the sun and recited my Gratitude Prayer "Thank you Goddess, for the blessings you have bestowed upon me. For my creativity and desire, my family and friends, and for new discoveries and eeper explorations. I am truly blessed. Even in the dark there is your light." Then I turned and entered the labyrinth. In the center I recieved an affirmation and exited. I did it again a little while later. This time I recited the Kore Chant "Isis, Astarte, Diana, Hecate, Demeter, Kali, Inanna" over and over and once more while standing in the center. A feeling of peace swept over me. I recited the chant as I exited as well.

I decided to cleanse all the stones I had with me and set them up on the altar beneath the solstice sun for a while.

Eventually, the sea rose up and swept away my labyrinth, a little sooner than I expected, but she left behind a piece of mother of pearl clinging to a rock I used to mark a corner of the labrinth.

I plan to go back tonight and watch the sun set as well. Its the first itme in a while I have been able to fully celebrate a holiday. I miss being able to practice regularly. I just don't have a private space where I live right now. Hopefully, that will change in not too long. But for today I am grateful to celebrate in my most favorite place.

Oh, I have great pictures, but can't post them yet. Forgot to bring my camera recharger and the laptop sucks the life out of the camera. When I get back home I'll be able to show you what I saw.